The Secret Diary of a Camping Ninja: Letter to Father Christmas
28 November 2010 : Written by A Camping Ninja
It is a bit of a ninja tradition that 26 days before Christmas, I always write a letter to Father Christmas with my Christmas wish list on it (26 days to allow for postage time to the North Pole).
Dear Father Christmas
Thank you for the presents you dropped down the chimney for me last year. The walnuts and satsumas were simply great. Very useful indeed. You never know when you might need a satsuma or a walnut or two, or the combination of both even! You'll see from my wish list this year that I'd really like a new tent and a new 2011 diary to write my secret diary in next year. I've stuck some pictures in so you can see what I mean. I'd be so happy with any of the fifteen pictured tents, or any diary with a padlock – because it is very secret! Thank you.
The Camping Ninja
Signed, sealed without a kiss and on the way to be delivered. I just so happened to see Father Christmas in person (well, in ninja really) on my way to the post box so I hand delivered my letter.
Well Father Christmas thought something was really funny, but what, I don't know. Was it because I'm a ninja? Was he laughing at something on my list? Did he think I was too old to be writing letters to Father Christmas still? He just kept on laughing and laughing, until he laughed his eye out! Ooooh! One of his eyes fell out onto the floor and was promptly trodden on by a passing Christmas Elf. Oh dear, I thought. 'Father Christmas, are you OK?' I asked him. But the strange thing was, the funny thing that's not very funny at all, is that even half eyeless, he carried on laughing and laughing.
And that's when my little Christmas world shattered. He was laughing because he couldn't feel a thing, because he wasn't really real. Because just like many people have often told me, Father Christmas doesn't really exist.
Well, that was it for my letter. So on my way home I popped into the shops and bought myself a new 2011 diary and wrote a reminder in for the January sales, to treat myself to a new tent.
I can't quite imagine how I'm going to keep this shocking revelation from the rest of my ninja family, especially my little ninja cousins. Shame. I'm going to have to drink the brandy and eat the mince pie and reindeer's carrot myself!
The Secret Diary of a Camping Ninja: Red
25 November 2010 : Written by A Camping Ninja
Red sky in the morning = Shepherds warning (to Shepherds).
Red tinted sky this morning = Camping Ninja's frost warning (to all campers and ninjas).
So if you're out camping tonight, my ninja advice is to wrap up very, very warm. That's 2 scarves, not just one!
Campingninja welcomes the Golden Inn on board
23 November 2010 : Written by Geoff Vaughan
The Golden Lion Inn, Redruth
The Campingninja team are delighted to welcome the Golden Lion Inn
on board. Based on the shored of Stithians lake in Cornwall and attached to an award winning pub and restaurant. Fantastic place to camp and spend time.
The Secret Diary of a Camping Ninja: The Matchmakers
21 November 2010 : Written by A Camping Ninja
A regular weekend party with friends, extended friends of friends and even some foes. Fortunately now we're all grown up the days of drunkenly playing Spin the Bottle are over, with every empty wine bottle staying upright on the table, just the way they should be. On the flip side of this weekends party however, were the after dinner mints.
An innocent box of Matchmakers brought to the table let loose the darker side of chocolate when some bright spark had an idea for a new game – the Matchmaker Game. A re-working of Spin the Bottle for adults, invented by the party host Claire-Marie, who since the day when she tried to set up Eric and Susie as a couple on a disastrous date, has quite wrongly fancied herself as a bit of a matchmaker.
My mind filled with dread as I began looking at the other party goers around the room, until the lights were switched out and we all dibbed into the box of Matchmakers. Two rogue sticks had been placed into the box and according to Claire-Marie, doubtful as it may be, the two who picked them out would by fate be a perfect match. Doubtful indeed I thought.
Hoping I'd picked a safe one, the lights came back on and we all examined each others pickings. Oh no, I'd picked out the bread stick! How did I manage that? It was such unfortunate bad luck. Looking at the one who'd picked out the carrot stick I knew instantly that it definitely was not a match made in heaven.
'Oooooh, matchmaker, matchmaker' Claire-Marie squealed, clapping her hands excitedly. What was she making all the fuss about? I didn't get it. Our bread stick and carrot stick were promptly replaced with a single chocolate Matchmaker and like the spaghetti scene in Lady and the Tramp we were instructed to share the chocolate stick, starting at either end, to meet in the middle and kiss. I was doomed! It was more like the Camping Ninja and a tramp.
The face at the other end zoomed in nearer to mine, hurriedly chomping their way down the chocolate safety zone, while I took the smallest bites possible in an ineffective attempt to avoid the catastrophe that was about to happen. Was it too late to cry out 'help!!!''? Concentrating on trying to resist that urge I forgot what was happening and before I knew it the last bite of chocolate Matchmaker wisped away and the lips from the other end pressed onto mine. Eeeuw! The worst peck of my life. The only relief was that thankfully they were the mint chocolate flavour Matchmakers, because I'd seen the other mouth demolish multiple pieces of garlic bread earlier in the evening.
I backed away as fast as a ninja could over to my side of the table and immediately wiped away any residue of the yucky mouth off of mine with a napkin, like a child, but felt much better for having done so. There wouldn't be any wedding bells resulting from that box of Matchmakers that's for sure!
The Secret Diary of a Camping Ninja: Black and Gold
17 November 2010 : Written by A Camping Ninja
Making my way back home from work this evening, walking along by the river. The light from the yellow street lamps reflects onto the dark water at night, glistening gold against the black river. It kind of reminds me of the Sam Sparro song, Black and Gold.
There's nothing like some electro beats to get you moving and spice up an ordinary walk home so I dig out my ninjapod (Ipod for ninjas) and listen to that funky song. So the words say, that 'the fish swam out of the ocean and grew legs and they started walking'…
Contemplating that thought, it would be weird if that happened. Rivers run to oceans and I have to confess, it is a little bit scary walking along here now, not knowing what kind of amphibious human-fish like creature with legs I might meet in the twilight tonight.
With my pulse racing and the dirty electro playing, I'm glad Friday 13th and Halloween have already been. In all this electrifying eeriness I really hope I don't pass the lady with the fish face down the alley! Hmmmm. A good idea to start walking quicker and move the ninjapod on to the next track I think!
The Secret Diary of a Camping Ninja: Waiting For Strictly To Call
11 November 2010 : Written by A Camping Ninja
Sitting by the ninjabile waiting for Strictly Come Dancing to call, practising my shocked voice and surprised face in the mirror – not that they could see that on a phone call but just in case they can sense it...
Hello, Camping Ninja here....... Who, me?............. You saw the video of us dancing on Campingninja and you'd like me to be on the next series of Strictly?.... Oh no, I couldn't possibly...... Oh, alright then, if you insist..... OK, I'll do it..................... Really? You were completely amazed by my hand dancing skills and you loved the way my hips moved?..... You think I have a natural rhythm and totally funky moves?........ Would I dance for the vibe? Well yes, of course........... Yes, yes, I can do the moonwalk and the running man...
If only. Come on ninjabile, ring.
I guess it is a bit soon for them to call tonight. It has only been a week. Ann Widdicombe waited a lot longer than that to get her call. Maybe next week they'll ring. I wait in hope.
Campingninja is recruiting. Do you know anyone?
10 November 2010 : Written by Geoff Vaughan
Campingninja is expanding and looking for an enthusiastic sales team of home-workers to sign campsites up to Campingninja (it is free for campsites to join the community. No joining fee and no monthly or annual fees). This role is commission based and will suit anyone who can give between 10 and 25 hours a week (or more).
Do you know anyone who fits the bill? Maybe someone already homebased looking to earn extra money? If you do, then please go to the application form and forward it on to them. There is a share button for e-mail, facebook, twitter etc at the bottom.
Happy camping even in the winter!
Campingninja has a great night at the British Travel Awards
08 November 2010 : Written by The Campingninja Team
Camping Ninjas all dressed up - BTAs
The Campingninja Team had a fantastic night at the British Travel Awards on Thursday 4th November. We were sponsored the after show chill zone and created our very own camping area in the middle of a glitzy award show with camping ninjas surprising people at every angle!
The idea was for us to represent the camping industry and raise awareness and interest about how important the camping and caravanning sector is to the whole travel industry in the UK, especially in terms of domestic travel. We also wanted to show everyone that the camping industry can match the hotels, hostels and other accommodation types of the world with customers now being able to book campsites online at whatever time of day suits them.
The British Travel Awards themselves are travel's equivalent to The Oscars and the night proved to be a large and lavish affair with Nick Ferarri (LBC Radio Breakfast Show) and Greg Davies (of Inbetweeners and Rhod Gilbert Show fame) hosting the awards. Entertainment included the wonderful Peridot, Britain's Got Talent Semi-finalists (similar kind of dancing to Diversity), who took a shine to the ninja heads (see further down for what happened next)!
The Secret Diary of a Camping Ninja: 5th November 2010
06 November 2010 : Written by A Camping Ninja
Remember, remember the 5th of November. An eventful date in more ways than one. Here's what happened this year...
I was happily making my way out of the building last night and leaving work for the weekend, when all of a sudden the lift jolted and came to a halt. We were well and truly stuck.
Oh no, not on a Friday, I thought!!! Luckily I'd been shopping earlier so I had supplies to last me through, hopefully! Although I did wonder if I might be trapped in for a few months like the Chilean miners. Then I'd be very hungry. I even did some exercises like they did to keep fit and after a couple of circuits around the lift I was one utterly dizzy ninja, but not quite a rascal yet.
It was going to be a long wait. Using the light of the ninjabile as a torch I was at least able to see, so I got to work on eating my way through the supplies. Munch, munch, munch. Nom, nom, nom.
6 packets of space raiders later there was light. The doors opened again and we were free! Fireworks boomed in the background, lighting up the night sky to celebrate our exit.
Never going in a lift again I thought! Unless it's on a Monday morning. Now there's an idea...
Blue Camping Ninjas vs Black Tie Camping Ninjas - The Dance Off
04 November 2010 : Written by The Campingninja Team
Who is better? Blue Camping Ninjas or Black Tie Camping Ninjas? There's only one way to find out........ DANCE!
At the British Travel Awards 2010 Peridot (of Britain's Got Talent dance fame) were part of the live stage show. Afterwards they decided to become Camping Ninjas (aka Dancing Ninjas) at the Campingninja campsite-at-an-awards-event!
The Black Tie Camping Ninjas did not want to be upstaged.
Let us know who you think won and why in the comments section below....
Video: Copyright Campingninja