Give me a tent in a field away from the crowds any day, but needs must, so a day of Christmas Eve shopping it was to be. There was a buzz of excitement and festive spirit filled the air, with everyone jigging about as they walked through the shopper filled streets. By twisting about too fast, trying to make my way through the crowds and getting tangled in amongst somebody’s shopping bags, I was knocked backwards into the front row of a neighbouring choir of carol singers.
How festive, I thought, before I realised that there was going to be no easy way to get myself back out of the choir! I was a camping ninja by nature, and not a carol singer by any means, but with it being Christmas I thought you know what, just go with it ninja.
I noticed a camera crew filming us. Everyone else in the choir started upping their game, singing louder and dancing about with a fierce Christmas intent. At that point I realised that swaying gently from side to side in time with the music would no longer be enough. I felt like I really needed to sing along, but didn’t have a clue what the words were. So I did what every camping ninja would do in that situation, and began singing the only song I could confidently say I knew every single word to – the Macarena - and totally got into the groove, dancing my much practised and perfected Thriller moves.
A little while later, all shopped out and full to the brim with mince pies given to me by the choir, I got back home and flumped on the sofa in front of the TV. The doorbell rang its Christmas jingle and my Auntie Matilda and Uncle Gerald, and all their Christmas cheer, descended on number 63 Monkton Avenue.
We all sat down in the lounge with a glass of Auntie Matilda’s homemade mulled wine and watched TV. The BBC News came on and to my Auntie Matilda’s delight, they had carol singers on. She clapped her hands with joy and started singing along in a way that only my Auntie Matilda could. Oh no, not more carol singers I thought, for I was all carolled out for one day. Then I spotted a ninja, just like me on the TV. Hang on a minute I thought… then it was me! The ninja standing in the front row, who was clearly singing a completely different song to the rest of the choir, was me! I watched as my mouth moved to the words of the Macarena, as everyone else sang their hearts out to Jingle Bells. Primetime on the BBC News on Christmas Eve. Now that was embarrassing!
‘‘Ho, ho, ho!’’ my Uncle Gerald laughed and laughed, like Father Christmas. But in the Christmas spirit of things, it could all be forgotten. Auntie Matilda sparked up a genuine conversation about whether she should make savoury Brussels sprout mince pies on Boxing Day, and before my embarrassed red cheeks knew it, my Macarena carol singing disaster had become merely a ghost of the Christmas minutes just passed.
A Christmas wish to all Secret Diary readers and camping fans, for a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Now, what would Father Christmas and his reindeers prefer us to leave out by the chimney for them tonight – traditional mince pies and sherry, or a selection of savoury Brussels sprout mince pies? Hmmm...