Campingninja Blog

‘‘On your marks, get set, go!’’ they shouted, as I set off from one of the Camping at the Games Olympic campsites.  It was a race against time you see; as my cousin Fifi was about to dart off on a camping trip to deepest Cornwall. 

While she’d been busy over the last couple of weeks packing up her camping kit, I had been enjoying all the action at the Camping at the Games sites, and what an electric atmosphere there had been.  And it was then that I got the call on the ninjabile from a panicking Fifi.  She’d borrowed one of my tents to take away with her and all the pegs were missing.  Where could they have got to we wondered? 

Of course when I opened up the boot of the ninja wagon to have a look for them, there were the missing pegs, right in front of me.  Really we needed the help of an Olympian to race the pegs over to Fifi, because her train down to Cornwall was departing in just 20 minutes! 

Then I had a brainwave.  It just so happens that I’d cooked myself some chicken nuggets on the camping stove for my breakfast that morning, which was just as well as my plan involved some Bolt fast running to relay the pegs over to Fifi in time. 

So I got on the ninjabile and called Fifi back.  Did she have time to meet me somewhere by the station to collect the pegs?  Yes.  Excellent news.  And was she ready to be part of the Team Ninja peg relay?  Affirmative. 

We hung up our phones, and then it was Team Ninja, go, go, go!!

Our relay meeting point was by Mandeville, where I handed over the pegs to Fifi.  There was just enough time to capture our sporting moment with a few pictures.  Fifi clicked away on the camera, snapping a few shots of me and my new best friend Mandeville, the Olympic mascot. 

We had a lot in common, as Fifi was quick to point out - our similar cartoonish build apparently, although I like to think of it as more of our athletic build.  Mandeville wore an ‘I Love London’ t-shirt, while I wore my ‘I Love Camping’ t-shirt.  He had only one eye, and I winked for the camera with one eye closed.  It was to be another great photo memory of a fantastic time Camping at the Games.

When a ninja’s got to go, a ninja’s got to go.  Thanks to a few late evening drinks, I couldn’t get to sleep in my tent without one last trip to the bathroom.  So I unzipped the tent and with my shiny bright torch light leading the way through the pitch black darkness of the night, I caved into nature’s calls and left my nice warm bed for the fresh night time air, and sleepy-eyed, wondered across to the bathroom. 

Much to my surprise, a crowd of people lined the field along the edge of the campsite.  There were some old people and some young people, and some people in between, and some who looked like it must have been way past their bedtime.  But it was clear that something had made them all come out and gather together for some kind of special occasion, and it was one which I was yet to find out about.

As I made my way across the field of the campsite with my little torch lighting the way along the windy path, they all began cheering.  I was only on my way to the bathroom.  There really was no need for all the attention.  In fact, on my way to the toilet in the middle of the night, to be honest I didn’t really want all the extra attention!  And I was puzzled to think what all the fuss could be about. 

Then I remembered - the Olympic torch relay.  Oh…

So I thought that in the spirit of the Olympics, I’d better start to run.  So I ran fast, like a true ninja, all the way over to the bathroom block. 

The onlookers began cheering even louder and clapped along with my every footstep.  I could feel the buzz of excitement in the air, although it was a little disconcerting that people were making all this fuss over my trip to the toilets.  Probably there had been some kind of misunderstanding as quite often happens, that I’d managed to get myself mixed up in.  But I wasn’t going to stop running, as I kind of needed to go to the bathroom! 

A few strides later I reached the bathroom block and switched my torch off ready to go inside.  ‘‘Booooooooo!!!’’ the crowd of people sighed.   

‘‘False alarm!’’ I called out to them, as I flickered my little torch on and off in a somewhat Morse code-esque fashion, trying to muster something along the lines of ‘‘don’t worry!  I’m not an official torchbearer!’’ out in code.  For it wasn’t the real Olympic torch I was holding like everyone in the crowd had thought.  It was merely my ever ready little ninja camping torch.  A well-used, trusty little torch, but whether or not it truly deserved all the fame and attention, now that is debatable!

A wise ninja-man once said… well, no, actually it wasn’t a wise ninja-man at all, it was a wise man of a different kind, Baz Luhrmann, in the song Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) who once said – ‘‘do one thing every day that scares you’’. 

For a Camping Ninja, that doesn’t mean going camping in the rain, or sloshing about playing football in the mud.  That’s not scary.  But leaving a half open packet of space raiders out on the camping table while going out for a morning stroll along the beach - now that is scary, and I’m telling you, the fretting on that walk of mine was intense!  So it became more of a power walk, then a jog, and then a sprint finish back to the tent to rescue my favourite space raider snacks, only to find a magpie munching out of the bag (for anyone who thought they were only into things of a shiny and silver kind, think again).  And that was my one thing of the day that scared me, done and dusted. 

There were some other wise words of advice from that song too, like to wear sunscreen.  Hmmm.  Worth making a note of, but perhaps something more apt for a camping trip in this weekend’s rainy weather, is simply that you can never have enough rain macs, wellies or umbrellas for a rainy weekend away with the tent.  And there you have it – some sound camping advice straight from what some people might imagine to be, hidden under my trademark ninja neck scarf, my very horse-like ninja mouth!

The face of the woman at the launderette said it all.  There was no way on earth that she was going to let me try and squash my tent into one of her washing machines.  And that was too bad for me, because my tent was very, very, very, very muddy! 

So when a Camping Ninja is faced with an extremely muddy tent situation, there is really only one thing for a Camping Ninja to do – go camping in the rain!

Any takers to be my camping buddy for a rainy weekend away? 

Who?  Dot Cotton from the launderette wants to come along? 

Oh… 

It was very much time to put the FTSE 100 to bed.  The weekend was here and this game of numbers was more about choosing some hopefully lucky lottery numbers, and the Ninja 500 – a Camping Ninja’s 500 tell-tale signs that the Spring/Summer 2012 camping season is well under way.

So here we go for the Ninja 500…

101 Dalmatians (or any breed of dog, in any quantity) allowed at Campingninja’s dog friendly campsites. 
 
117 days to go until the start of the Olympics and the party of happy campers Camping at the Games.

1 campsite available to book in beautiful Italy for anyone looking to escape Olympic fever in the UK this summer.
 
44 Spring daffodils brightening up the back garden.

More than 9 consecutive sunny days in a row in the Monkton Avenue area over the last couple of weeks and plenty of degrees warm enough for comfortable camping.

1 great Real Campers Meet Real Campsites campaign launched for keep it real campers.

5 whole more months left of every ninjas favourite, Spring/Summer camping season.

7 individual space raiders left in the bag for me to munch on while diarising the Ninja 500.

2 free days off work for the Easter weekend coming up.

4 spaces taken up with passengers in the ninja wagon, and 4 friends coming on this weekend’s camping trip.

8 precious centimetres of breathing space between each passenger with camping baggage squashed along the back seat of the ninja wagon.

10 minutes estimated until they all get slightly claustrophobic and annoyed!

A 12 track mixtape to listen to in the ninja wagon on our journey to the campsite – because for camping weekends away, it’s not just about where you’re going, but the fun you have on the way to getting there too.

3 pitches booked at the campsite and 173 miles of scenic driving to take in en-route.     

A quick adding up on my solar powered camping calculator (because doesn’t everyone always take one of those camping with them?) totals an almost perfect 501.  That means 1 more space raider to eat, yummy!  Then the Ninja 500 is complete.  Magic!

After a week of begging, ‘‘Please, no more raisins!’’ at the seemingly endless hoards of mince pies, mini stollen, slices of Christmas cake and helpings of Christmas pudding coming my way throughout the Christmas festivities – much to my delight (and relief!), raisin season had finally ended and a happy New Year had begun. And with just 2 days to go until the Camping At The Games priority booking opens, I simply could not wait to find out what campsites would be on offer during the Olympics. The excitement was almost too much to bear. In fact, to say I was excited was an understatement. I ninjatastically just couldn’t wait!

But until Thursday 5th January, all I could do was to wait. And sadly, there was only one thing for a waiting Camping Ninja to do to take my mind off it – eat more raisins!

Raisins in January was without a doubt, wrong, but I was sure it would be worth it, as then on Thursday, my 2012 Christmas would be sure to come early. Happy really early Christmas and Happy New Year! Here’s to a fantastic 2012 of camping, the Olympics and the following months less-raisined!

One particular hazard of this weekend’s camping trip was the kissing gate.  And if you count my Auntie Matilda as well, then that makes two hazards.  It wasn’t very often that the whole family got together for an entire weekend, and normally I would point blank refuse.  But this time there was camping involved and for that reason alone, I was happy to share the same camping ground with some of my weird and wonderful relatives for a pre-Christmas get together.

It was on the way back from our wintery walk along by the river, as the last glimpse of afternoon sunshine was radiating through the clouds before heading down to bed, when we came across the kissing gate. 

Supposedly it was customary to kiss the person on the other side of the gate, before passing through, but not for ninjas.  That would be ridiculous I thought, as I looked on at my Auntie Matilda waiting on the other side of the gate.
 
I was very tempted to quash that urban legend and jump straight over the fence to get over to the other side, but my Auntie Matilda was standing on the opposite side of the gate with her lips pursed and waiting for me to give her a kiss.  

There was no way I would do it.  Moreover, I just physically couldn’t do it.  In fact the very thought of it was making my eyes water.  So I waited patiently for her to move away…

And then I waited very impatiently for her to move out of the way...

I’d been waiting for a while.  Now night was closing in and it was beginning to get dark.  I was getting really hungry and from the way she was jigging around, it was becoming more and more obvious that my Auntie Matilda was getting quite desperate for the loo.  Yet still, neither of us would move.  You’ve probably heard the expression ‘as stubborn as a mule’, but perhaps one you haven’t heard is ‘as stubborn as a Camping Ninja’ or ‘as stubborn as Auntie Matilda’.  For we were two determined souls locked in a battle of wills. 

Finally the clock struck midnight and that was it.  I had resisted long enough but now the time had come to use my ninja powers and get myself out of this mess.  I hunted around by the riverside for an unsuspecting frog, picked him up and while my Auntie Matilda couldn’t see what was happening as it was dark, I put the unfortunate frog to her lips for the kiss she’d been waiting all those hours for. 

‘‘Sorry frog’’ I said to my new friend and slimy green saviour.  He didn’t turn into a prince as clearly my Auntie Matilda was not by any measure a princess, but it did mean that as she thought it had been me who gave her the kiss, that she would finally let me through the gate and back to the campsite. 

I didn’t dare to look back behind me but heard a squeal as my cousin Fifi met my Uncle Herbert at the same gate.  Then what I did see was my friend the frog, frog-legging it out of the way as quick as his jumpy legs could carry him!  And I didn't blame him.  Not for one second.

It was the long awaited stag weekend for one of my old friends named Johnny. We all gathered together in a minibus packed full of luggage and a surprise airline ticket was placed in each of our hands. Ooh, where would we be going I wondered? Then as if by magic, we were transported from a chilly November morning in the UK, to warmer climes and the hotel mecca and sunny beach resort of Benidorm in Spain.

We past hotel after hotel; weaving through streets laden with high rise buildings; passing endless hotel swimming pools; and traipsed along the long sandy beach. With my pop up tent placed keenly on the back of my ninja knapsack, I was on a mission to find a campsite to pop my tent up at.

We’d been walking around all day, all night even, and I was longing to see one of the brown camping and caravan signs with an arrow pointing in the direction of a quiet and peaceful campsite. Even with my ninja super sight I was finding it hard to see my way through the disco lights. Was hoping to find a campsite no more than a drunken dream I wondered? Perhaps a few too many drinks were causing me to see everything as one big blur, so I figured I’d need some local help to track the campsites down.

So I asked a friendly Spanish lady passing me on the street where I could find the nearest campsite around here, to which she very enthusiastically replied:

‘Viva la fiesta. Viva la noche. Viva los DJs.’

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! The people here are crazy, I thought to myself. So I called out to my friend Johnny who was walking along the street behind me, and I said to him:

‘Johnny, which way did she say for the campsite?...